We all procrastinate. During the adolescent years, procrastination seems to be common. Many teenagers intentionally delay tasks despite knowing it is worse to delay them and being aware of the consequences.
Procrastination is caused by overwhelming feelings that the adolescent finds difficult to regulate and cope with. Parents may believe that their adolescents lack time management skills, and although this may be true for some, it is not for others. Some parents blame their adolescents’ personalities without realising that personality is still in development during adolescence.
What kind of emotions can be behind procrastination?
When your child procrastinates, they choose not to face intense emotions now but prefer to deal with a more manageable short-term emotion instead of the overwhelming long-term one. One could say that to avoid emotional suffering, teenagers prefer to convince themselves that they have enough time to complete a task, leading to procrastination. Procrastination is a maladaptive way to deal with unpleasant emotions.
Fear of failure is one of the most prominent emotions that lead to procrastination during the teenage years. For instance, they may procrastinate on homework due to fear of failing exams. Past trauma can trigger rumination, where thoughts become intense and irrational because adolescents have not fully developed self-regulatory emotional systems.
Encouraging positive thinking and affirmations can help your teen adapt to social situations and boost their confidence and self-esteem
Dr Emma Allende
Some potential causes of procrastination include impulsivity (most common in ADHD cases), conflict at home, and school life. These can lead to negative life events resulting in procrastination when a similar situation arises. These situations push your children to develop thoughts and behaviours that can even develop into undesirable personality traits later in life.
How teenagers behave depends on how they feel, which depends on how they think. Sometimes they may get stuck in negative thoughts, leading them to procrastinate. Encouraging positive thinking and affirmations can help your teen adapt to social situations and boost their confidence and self-esteem.
Tips for parents
- Help your child break down each task into smaller, more manageable tasks that don’t feel as overwhelming.
- Practise mindfulness and meditation techniques to stop ruminating thoughts before they become too overwhelming.
- When you need to stop the spiralling of negative thoughts, it may be helpful to ask yourself: “I wonder what would be the next thought that I am going to think?” This question can quiet your mind and, with practice, help you stop your thoughts whenever you want.
- Procrastination can easily become a habit. The sooner parents discuss the topic non-judgementally with their teens, the better.
- Reward any small improvement and small task achieved. Teach them to feel proud of themselves and encourage them to keep on that track.
- Encourage your teen to start again in case they relapse. Be patient with yourself and your child. Gradually, the number of relapses will decrease.
- Reduce distractions from the task, like mobile phones. Keep the mobile phone away or put it on silent while doing the task.
- Agree on deadlines with your teen. Make them feel involved in the decision-making process. Try creating a to-do list with them and stick it to the fridge.
“Traveller, there is no road; you make your path as you walk”—Antonio Machado
Parents can help their adolescents when they struggle with procrastination by providing consistent support and understanding. Overcoming procrastination is a process; it’s okay to seek and offer help when required.
