The journey towards independence and responsibility during the adolescent years is vital. Offering opportunities to your children while leading by example will help them to fly through these years, much like parent birds showing their young take-offs, safe landing areas, and mid-air manoeuvres, as well as the need for breaks and rest. Accidents may still happen, but bird parents intervene and help their young until they master flying into adulthood, gradually withdrawing their help.
Our children grow into adulthood through the exciting phase of adolescence. It is important for parents to recognise and support their teens as they gain gradual independence from parental control and develop into well-rounded, independent adults.
The solution to this life problem may be closer to us than we think, just by observing nature. Although this may seem like common sense, one wonders if common sense is not that common at all as we juggle the demands of jobs, family, and social and economic pressures.
When was the last time you went out as a family for a walk in nature and talked about what you observed instead of discussing daily stresses? You may have had the chance to observe how bird parents help their offspring learn to fly by providing opportunities to strengthen their wings first. They do this by exercising wing muscles and teaching through flapping movements, gradually building the strength necessary for flight.
Responsibility and independence go hand in hand during the adolescent years. It is normal for teens to challenge parental authority as they explore independence. Clear but flexible boundaries are needed as they mature, allowing them to take gradual steps in responsibility so the family can sail smoothly through these years, supporting each other.
Birds teach their young essential skills like building nests and searching widely for food, preparing them for survival in the wild. Similarly, parents can equip teenagers with life skills to navigate adulthood’s challenges
Dr Emma Allende
By involving your teens in household chores, academic tasks, and community service, they will develop essential life skills, a sense of duty, and accountability—much needed for decision-making and problem-solving as adults. Help teenagers develop practical skills for independence, such as cooking, managing finances, and time management. Birds teach their young essential skills like building nests and searching widely for food, preparing them for survival in the wild. Similarly, parents can equip teenagers with life skills to navigate adulthood’s challenges.
Adolescents start to experience balancing pros and cons by applying forward-thinking and experimenting with different ideas, relationships, and roles to establish their self-identity and place in the world. It is another milestone in human development.
Parents can positively guide their teens by enabling them through open communication to make choices. Reflective thinking is key to aiding their capacity to assess alternatives and understand the repercussions of their decisions, allowing them to share their knowledge and effort with society. Then teens can operate within clearly defined rules and expectations.
Creating family time where you involve your teens in decisions while offering love, respect, and consistent support creates a strong foundation to overcome any challenges your teens may face. Celebrate your adolescents’ achievements as they take gradual steps towards independence, reassuring them on how to become responsible adults.
Responsibility and independence go hand in hand during the adolescent years. Clear but flexible boundaries are needed as they mature
Dr Emma Allende
Birds exhibit social behaviours and cooperation within their flocks, teaching their offspring empathy and ethical behaviour essential for survival. Parents can instil similar values in teenagers.
Look after yourself first so you can take care of the family. Have patience and compassion with yourself, as this is a learning process for you too. Remember, the most important thing children need is supportive parents who are present in their lives. Raising children is demanding, and as parents, supporting each other in your relationship and taking care of each other make the journey much easier.
When parents look after their physical health and emotions, it becomes easier to parent well. Looking after yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally gives you the energy needed to help your teenagers grow independently and thrive as adults. When you are well, it is easier to learn new strategies to support your adolescents.
Asking for help
You are not alone. Remember, educators, psychologists, and other professionals are at hand to support you as a parent in your transition from control to guidance. You can share your ethical standards with professionals, and they will guide you in allowing your adolescents to make choices while providing support and teaching decision-making skills.
Embrace the journey of parenting teenagers with love, understanding, and patience, creating a nurturing family environment beneficial to all family members, allowing them to make age-appropriate decisions.
