Anger episodes can be expected and are frequent during the adolescent years. It can be very challenging for parents to understand the causes and to deal with them, as it affects family dynamics and produces suffering in all family members, including younger siblings.
Anger is a natural emotion inherent to humans and considered normal, but it is not socially acceptable when it is not regulated. Everybody can lose their temper at some point in their lives. During the adolescent years, it becomes more difficult to control anger due to the roller coaster of emotions and hormonal changes. Stress from exams, lack of sleep, social expectations, and the frustration of trying to fit in are common causes that can trigger anger in adolescents. The use of alcohol and illicit drugs may bring paranoid feelings and suspicions about others, leading to anger episodes in teenagers.
Recognising Problematic Anger
Anger can be problematic when it affects others, is constant, or when adolescents cannot find appropriate ways to express the emotion. If anger is kept inside, it may lead to physical health problems like muscle tension, headaches, or stomach aches. The adolescent may not even realise that there is a problem. Until teenagers learn how to express their anger appropriately, they tend to project it onto others, especially their parents. This can manifest as shouting, throwing things, or, in the worst cases, hitting others. Alcohol can precipitate anger because it releases inhibitions, while illicit drugs can bring paranoid thoughts and suspicions, leading to arguments and anger.
Parents’ Helping Kit
- Acceptance and Understanding: Parents can help by accepting and understanding the changes that occur in adolescence and the causes that generate anger in teenagers. Recognise that adolescence is a period of rapid changes, and teens struggle to adapt. They may feel frustrated while forming their new identity, and their self-esteem may be volatile.
- Open Communication: Listen to your teen with an open mind and attitude. This will help your teen feel more at ease to share their emotions with you while you can help them identify the reasons behind the anger. Acknowledge and validate their feelings of anger. Later, you can discuss how to address these feelings.
- Alternative Coping Mechanisms: Guide them through possible alternative coping mechanisms and tools to use when they feel angry. Encourage them to talk about what is going on and the possible causes that triggered their anger. Teach them deep breathing exercises to encourage relaxation. Activities like a warm bath, a walk in nature, or regular exercise can help regulate anger.
- Discourage Unhelpful Behaviours: Discourage behaviours like lack of sleep, smoking, alcohol, or illicit drug use. Establish clear boundaries and remind them of what is expected regarding behaviour and the possible consequences of their actions.
- Seek Professional Help: Remind them that help is available. Contact your GP, school counsellor, or therapist if needed. This support will reassure you that you are not alone and provide tools to help with anger.
