You may be pleasantly surprised to see how your teen pours their heart out, sharing their social pressures, daily stresses, and hopes during the teen twilight talk.
It is well known that teenagers tend to isolate as they become more independent from their families, but at the same time, as they struggle with the ups and downs of adolescence, they also like to touch base with parents, especially in times of trouble. These are the moments parents can have the biggest impact on their teens. As the day goes by with plenty of action, demands, activities, and daily issues, it is in the evening when everybody is at home, winding down from the day, that adolescents are more prone to open up to parents. This twilight time is when the brain is more open to sharing what is on the mind, and adolescents are more receptive, facilitating deeper and more meaningful interactions, making this time optimal for bonding with your adolescent.
Parents can take advantage of their teens’ emotional readiness and offer a safe and supportive environment to engage in conversation and develop a meaningful and loving relationship. Twilight conversations with teenagers can be more productive as their brains are more open to reflection during the evening/night.
As a parent, you may feel redundant in your adolescent’s life, but remember they still need you; it’s just that they need you differently than before. Reflect on your time as an adolescent and consider how you can help your teen, as their problems and aspirations might resemble yours. Let them know you are available and will always love them, even though behaviour can be improved through learning, which is part of life’s journey.
How to open the teen twilight door
Just be there around their room or outside their room. You may wish to wait until everyone is asleep except for your teen and yourself, as adolescents tend to stay up late. Let them start the conversation and wait until they pour out their emotions. If this isn’t happening and you wish to start a conversation, do so with a subject that interests them, like mobile phones or games. Let them talk. If they need to share more with you, you will notice during the conversation that they start talking about what has been troubling them during the day. Avoid jumping in with advice; allow them to talk while you listen actively. Do not be judgmental, pay attention to your facial expressions, and avoid criticism, as this may interrupt the flow of emotions.
Let them know you are available and will always love them, even though behaviour can be improved through learning, which is part of life’s journey
Dr Emma Allende
You may be pleasantly surprised to see how your teen pours their heart out, sharing their social pressures, daily stresses, and hopes during the teen twilight talk. Even if it is quite late at night, remember that adolescents are night owls. Be present with them, even when you feel like going to sleep. Enjoy this time with them; they may only need your presence, which can solve many problems later on. Keep in mind that it is more common at night for adolescents to interact on social media, and being present with them, allowing them to release and share their concerns with you, may prevent them from putting themselves at risk by oversharing on social media due to emotional weakness and instability or by talking to strangers on the internet.
Teen Twilight Talks are a valuable window for parents to look into adolescent lives, promoting bonding and healthy parent-adolescent relationships.
