Self-centred behaviour in adolescents is not usually a concern but a normal developmental phase. It is very common for adolescents to reflect on their experiences, beliefs, and emotions to get a deeper understanding of themselves. Their brains are very active during these periods of self-absorption, which is a normal process in human development—another milestone.
Do you often wonder why your teenager is unusually quiet? Do you feel as if they do not pay much attention to what you say or seem to be lost in their own world?
Self-awareness is critical for developing a sense of identity and autonomy. This is how adolescents reflect on their challenges, identify their strengths, and learn from their experiences. Self-centred behaviour in adolescents is not usually a concern but a normal developmental phase. It is very common for adolescents to reflect on their experiences, beliefs, and emotions to get a deeper understanding of themselves. Their brains are very active during these periods of self-absorption, which is a normal process in human development—another milestone.
The messy bedroom analogy
When we want to organise a wardrobe, usually, we take everything out, and for a while, the room is a mess. But you know that later on, everything will be organised in a better way and in the correct place. Adolescent brains can be a bit like this. It is by going through the process of reorganising their brains that they can become well-rounded adults. The messy bedroom can be an external reflection of how the messy adolescent brain works. This process is important for the development of cognitive abilities like critical thinking, logic, reasoning, memory, and attention.
Challenges
While self-absorption can be seen as a natural stage of development, it is not without its challenges. Teenagers tend to prioritise their needs and desires, which can strain family dynamics, friendships, and academic or social obligations. Their risk-taking behaviours, driven by a desire for experimentation and independence, can also raise concerns about safety and well-being.
However, this period also presents opportunities for growth and learning. By engaging in self-reflection and exploring personal boundaries, teenagers develop critical thinking skills, empathy, and a deeper understanding of their values and beliefs. This process is essential for forming a healthy adult identity and fostering independence. Through introspection, adolescents can become more mindful of their emotional responses and develop strategies for coping with stress.
How to help them
Creating an environment where feelings and thoughts can be freely expressed is essential for healthy introspection. By engaging in meaningful conversations, adolescents can explore their inner world with guidance and reassurance. Recognising the unique developmental needs of the adolescent brain is crucial. Introspection requires time and space; by respecting these needs, parents can support adolescents in their self-exploration journey.
Self-centred behaviour in adolescents is not usually a concern but a normal developmental phase. By engaging in meaningful conversations, adolescents can explore their inner world with guidance and reassurance
Dr Emma Allende
Teaching adolescents self-regulation skills as part of their introspective practice can support them through this developmental phase. Learning to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviours is crucial for mental health and well-being. By facilitating opportunities for self-discovery, caregivers can help adolescents forge a strong and positive sense of self. Introspection allows young individuals to explore their values, beliefs, and goals.
Sometimes “less is more,” and by allowing your teen to have more space to grow, parents support the development of their teenagers. Managing a teenager’s self-absorbed phase requires patience, understanding, and strategic communication. It’s important to pick your battles wisely, as not every instance of self-centred behaviour warrants confrontation. Instead, focusing on open, honest communication can encourage teenagers to express their feelings and concerns, helping them feel heard and supported.
Setting clear expectations and boundaries is also crucial. Teenagers should understand the importance of mutual respect and empathy in family and social relationships. Encouraging involvement in community service or group activities can help teens see beyond their immediate concerns, fostering a sense of empathy and social responsibility.
